My Life at a Glance

Happy Father's Day Ricky

This is a poem that I wrote March 25, 2002 to honor my brother. 

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

Written by Marcia Byrdsong

March 25, 2002

 

 

In Life he was known as Coach

In Death, National Louis University awarded him an honorary doctorate degree so now he’s known as Doctor

 

In Life he was known as Ricky, Coach and Byrd

In Death, his book was published so now he’s known as Author

 

In Life he was described as tall

In Death he was called a Gentle giant

 

In Life he ran his race

In Death, we’re running his race

 

In Life he was fired

In death we’re honoring him

 

We remember and honor Ricky Allen Byrdsong TODAY for his contribution, commitment and faithfulness to ALL mankind.  This is probably the greatest honor a person could ever achieve in Life or Death

 

The Ricky Byrdsong Documentary

NOTE: PAUSE THE MUSIC ON PLAYLIST BEFORE CLICKING ON LINK

Fly Like The Byrd Documentary

http://www.flylikethebyrd.com/

It's Not a Gun Problem, It's a Heart Problem

The day my brother was murdered the media from every television station basically camped out at his doorstep.  My sister-in-law had to finally make a statement so she called a Press Conference the next day and read the following:

 Message in Honor of My Husband

Written by Sherialyn Byrdsong

 

My beloved husband and the father of our three children was a great man, because he gave his life doing God's will and to making this world a better place for all people. His deepest desire was to see America return to and embrace with a new zeal the biblical principles of living upon which this country was founded. He was committed to building strong families. He gave his life to teaching others to love one another and to treat others the way they would want to be treated. He was a man of action for he strongly believed that the only way you prove how you felt about something was to be passionate and aggressive in doing something about it.

 

There were three scriptures that he centered his life's work around:

 

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with your entire mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.  Matthew 22:17-40

 

I have set before you life and death; blessing and cursing therefore choose life that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19

 

If my people, who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin, and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

 

I honor him for his faithfulness to me throughout our 19 years of marriage, for consistently operating in the utmost integrity in a profession where compromise and dishonesty is not only rampant but tolerated and sometimes encouraged; for providing exceedingly and abundantly for his family; for being a father who constantly challenged and encouraged his children, always believing that their destiny was greatness; for setting an example to our son on how to be a godly father, and for loving and caring for us dearly.

 

The violent act that took my husband's life is yet another clarion call to our nation. It's time to wake up, America. God is crying out to us the words of Ephesians 5:14, "Wake up, O sleeper and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine upon you and give you light." God is giving us yet another wake up call. Wake up, America!!! It's time to turn back to God, to read and obey His word, to put prayer and the Bible back into our schools and daily family living.

 

This is not a gun problem, it's a heart problem, and only God and reading His word can change our hearts.

 

It was the living word inside of Ricky Byrdsong that caused him to have such a big heart. There can be no greater memorial and tribute to his life than to dedicate ourselves to the same pureness of heart and clean conscience in the sight of our God.

 

 

 

This is Ricky having Bible Study with his children before leaving for work

Lessons to Learn From a Child

My niece wrote this letter three years ago and read it to a total of 700 of her classmates.  I wasn't there but when she came home she handed it to me and said that she read this today and so many people had tears in their eyes.  It was as if she didn't understand why.  Then I read the first line and the tears started flowing from my eyes.  This was the first time that I really knew how that day impacted her.  She has a personality like her father.  No matter how much injustice is being done to her, she always try to see the good in everyone and will forgive their wrong.  I just think there is so much to learn from what she wrote if we allow our hearts to lead us.  These are the words of a child. 

It does make you question humanity when a child can forgive a person for taking the life of her father and best friend right before her eyes, yet so many of us cannot forgive the person who stepped on our toe yesterday.  May God forgive us all for the evil that we consciencely and unconsciencely cause to our fellow man daily.  Life is not always fair but does that make it righ to make someone else pay for the wrong that we "think" was done to us?  

Not many of us could walk in Kelley's shoes but we find a way to judge her unjustifiably.  Wake up people!  There is so much good in the world if we'd just be open to "doing" good and not "thinking" evil.  Make the best of the time that we have left.  Don't allow the legacy that you leave be remembered for all of the pain and evilness that you caused another person.  Unless you've had to walk in their shoes, you don't know the price that they've had to pay for their joy.  To look at my neice, you would never know what she's been through.  She's made a decision to forgive.  What does she have to gain by not?  She get's it.  What about you?

Written by Kelley Byrdsong

December 2005

 

6 years ago, I felt as if my life was over.  I was 10 years old, the victim of a hate crime, and fatherless.  On July 2, 1999, a young white supremist gunned down and killed my coach, mentor, role model, and father.  After being shot at many times and witnessing my dad actually being shot and lying helplessly in pain, I felt scared, angry, and guilty.  

I’ve asked myself many times, “if my brother and I were on my father’s side between him and the car from which the shooter was, why weren’t we shot?”  Didn’t my dad deserve to live just as much as my brother and I?  I was scared enough just being shot at, but not too many people have witnessed their dad get shot and killed right beneath their eyes.  After about a month, I had gotten used to the fact that I would never see my father again but life was still hard without my best friend.

 

I know the feeling of being alone and scared.  I know the feeling of thinking you can’t make it another day.  I still have times where I lay in the bed all night crying thinking of how life would be if I still had my dad or if somebody would’ve raised his assassin the way I was.  I’ve had the feeling of confusion, hurt and pain.

Being raised with strong morals and good values, I was able to forgive my father’s killer and the organization he belong to.  I even prayed each night that God would forgive them because I knew that was the only way I would overcome my anger.

 

There is a saying that says life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% of how you react.  During that period in my life, I had to make a decision on whether I was going to learn to hate all white people, sit around and let the world feel sorry for me, or learn to forgive, be strong, and move on.  I love my dad very much and what makes him being gone so hard is that we were just a like.  I have his personality characteristics of being nice, humorous, jovial, helpful, and cheerful, but most importantly, like him, I have a heart for forgiveness.  I am an over comer, an over achiever, and will not let anything change me.

 

My mom always says that the reason he got shot is not because of a gum problem, but it’s a heart problem.  I have a problem when people come to me and tell me I should hate all white people and I shouldn’t talk to white people.  That would be acting out of ignorance and it would also be adding to the problem.  The reason my dad is dead right now is because a boy was ignorant to the fact that everyone is equal under God’s eyes.

 

I will never stop associating with white people because one killed my father.  I don’t have a heart of hatred, fear, bigotry, and bitterness.  I’ve learned through this situation that not everyone is as blessed as I am to be able to have the strength and courage to grow from something like this.  It took my father’s life for me to realize that hate is real and it took my father’s life for thousands of people around this country to realize that it’s time to make a change.  

I’m glad we have the Names Program here.  Maybe this will help stop someone from taking another life and leaving another child without a father.  Maybe it will open our eyes and help us to see the beauty in everyone and the reasons in which we are different.  Everyday that I live my life, I try to be positive and a role model for others to follow because I know I have the power to change lives.  And if changing lives is too hard then I can at least change one person’s heart and I will feel like I’ve accomplished something my dad would be proud of.

 

Ricky's Mission Statement to his Children

A year before Ricky died he wrote a Mission Statement to his children.  Now, looking back, it is as if he was leaving a blueprint for the kids to follow in his absence.  One line he wrote sticks out more than any other; "They will treat all people, even their enemies, the way they would want to be treated".

 A MISSION STATEMENT TO HIS CHILDREN

Sabrina, Kelley and Ricky are first of all grateful. They understand that to have breath each day is God's gift to them, but how they live their lives is their gift to God. They have been blessed with the Holy Sprit and bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. "Please" and "Thank You" are two of their frequent expressions. They know that winners are "made" and not "born". They are confident that God has placed in them all the qualities they need to be winners. They understand that they must develop and use these qualities to their fullest potential.

They give 100% effort in every endeavor. They are not afraid to try anything, because they know that to not try is the biggest failure of all. They are confident that they will enjoy success in every area of their lives and that they are richly blessed. They will share the fruit of their success with others, never forgetting that their achievements are God's gift to them.

Kelley, Ricky and Sabrina will not experiment with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or any other destructive substance. They will have the courage to say "NO" when offered any such vice. They will respectfully, yet boldly, reject any philosophy that is contrary to the word of God. They know that they are responsible for their actions and will not seek to blame others for the choices they make.

They will treat all people, even their enemies, the way they would like to be treated. They will obey their parents and seek their guidance regarding the issues of life. They are assured that they will never lose the love of their parents. They understand that their parents' discipline is proof of their deep love for them.

Ricky Sabrina and Kelley may learn from many people along the path of life but they will always look to the Holy Scriptures as their ultimate source of wisdom and knowledge. Jesus Christ is their perfect teacher and role model. People will remember these three because of their great compassion for others. When their lives are over, God will say to each one, "Well done, good and faithful servant". 

The Extreme of Two Emotions

Yesterday I experienced the extreme of two emotions.  One was the painful emotion of volunteering to photograph a mother as she was making the decision to let her six month old baby go home to be with the Lord.  As painful as the moment was, it was also a beautiful experience as I watched the mother sing to the baby and tell her how much she loved her.  Then the mother, through her tears, asked the pastor to come and pray.  The pastor was crying, I was crying, the grandparent's were crying, and the doctor and nurses were just one tear away from letting go.  I captured the doctor standing in the background giving the mother the time that she needed to say her final goodbyes. Then the doctor came over and held the mother's hand and said, "you know she's going to a much better place". So sad but yet so, so beautiful.  

The other emotion was most joyous as I watched the story of my brother's life unfold right before my eyes yet, 10 years later.  The night was simply AMAZING!!!  The three Northwestern journalism students Ryan, Tommy and Alex, did a wonderful job of capturing the life and death of Ricky on film.  They put their hearts and souls into understanding who the man was and how he impacted a lot of lives before his life was taken.  The hardest part for me watching the documentary was hearing the kids relive that day that changed their lives forever.

Marcia, Tommy, Ryan and Alex

Sherialyn Byrdsong - the story was the top news story yesterday. PAUSE THE MUSIC ON HERE BEFORE CLICKING ON THE LINK .  THE VIDEO IS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE ARTICLE  http://cbs2chicago.com/local/Ricky.Byrdsong.documentary.2.1041525.html

screen shot of Sabrina Byrdsong 

screen shot of Ricky Byrdsong, Jr.

screen shot of Kelley Byrdsong

screen shot of Dave Jackson, who along with his wife Neta, wrote the book, "No Random Act - behind the murder of Ricky Byrdsong".

screen shot of the killer - Benjamin Smith

screen shot of Northwestern student Alex Presha at the Cemetery in Atlanta where Ricky was buried   

screen shot of Ricky speaking from the grave - "well done good and faithful servants (Alex, Ryan, and Tommy), well done".

screen shot of Ricky saying, "sometimes coaches get kicked out of the game.  The coach is gone but the game is not over".  (Note:  These are the original words of Pastor Haman Cross spoken at Ricky's funeral)

screen shot of Ricky telling his kids that they can make it and evil will not win.

Pictures below are friends who came out for support

Bill and Dan from Big Ten Network who will also do a story about the life of Ricky.  It will air sometime in or about November.

A Message to the Children

This is a poem that I wrote to Sabrina, Kelley, and Ricky in December 2001.  I had recently moved to Chicago to help out and wanted to give them something meaningful for Christmas that would one day explain the decision and commitment that was made because of them.  They are probably just now at the age where this poem will make sense to them  This is the first poem that I ever wrote in my life.

A MESSAGE TO THE CHILDREN

To you these are probably just words on a piece of

paper but they come from my heart.

I’m writing this to you because there are several

things that I want to impart.

 

Today these words may have very little meaning

and in fact you may never understand.

Just remember God orders our steps and our destiny is in His hand.

 

I don’t yet know how to reach you other than through my deeds.

But I am willing to go above and beyond to meet your needs.

 

I have a deep love in my heart for you all. 

The only way I know how to express that is to answer God’s call.

 

I’m not famous and I don’t have many riches

but I feel blessed beyond measure. 

Just to have the opportunity to be a part of

your life is truly a treasure.

 

But what I have to offer does come with a price.

My commitment to you is my ultimate sacrifice.

 

The circumstances that caused this to be often go unspoken. 

The fact still remains, that tragic day in July 1999 left

many hearts broken.

 

I rarely hear you mention his name. 

Maybe the pain is still too great to bear.

Just remember, although he could not be,

his presence in your life is always there.

 

He only wanted the best for you so remember

that as you make a decision.

He left behind his book and a mission statement

that documents his vision. 

 

With that all said, please keep up the good fight.

I’m wishing you a Merry Christmas and to all a great night.

Love Forever, Aunt Cia

Written December 23, 2001

I took this picture of the kids in 2002.  They were about 10, 12, and 14 at the time.  Ricky is much taller than Sabrina and Kelley now. ha!ha!

Happy Birthday Kelley "Marcia" Byrdsong

Kelley is 20 years old today.  I remember 20 years ago I just happened to call their house in Detroit at the time.  It was about noon and when I asked my sister-in-law what she was doing she indicated that she thought she was in labor.  Sure enough, while my brother was driving her to the hospital Kelley decided she was ready to come.  When my brother looked in the back seat he could see the crown of Kelley's head.  He was able to make it to the hospital where Kelley was born in the lobby with about 60 people watching.  I called later to see if it was a boy or girl and when I asked what they named her, Sherialyn said, "Kelley Marcia Byrdsong".  I was so surprised and honored because they did not mention to me ahead of time that that was their intent.  

The Man of the Hour

My visit to Washington State for Ricky's graduation was awesome!  The weather was beautiful and I got to see another part of the country that I had never seen before.  Ricky's class graduated over 400 students.  It was really a fun festive event even though I'm sure the school administration didn't plan for it to be that way.  The kids were throwing beach balls, talking and yelling when their friend's names were being called. There was not one boring moment during the entire ceremony. Don't tell anyone I said this but I really enjoyed seeing the kids have fun. Ha!Ha!! 

This is one proud mama.

Sabrina had her day last month when she graduated from Clark Atlanta University.

Kelley will have her day in two years when she graduates from North Carolina A&T.

Ricky is texting Kelley and Sabrina to tell them about this guy.

This is the Principal of the High School.  I stopped him on the way out and introduced myself.  He said Ricky was a good kid who impacted a lot of lives for the year that he was there.  He said he'd never forget him.  That almost brought tears to my eyes.

His Legacy Lives On

I am amazed that almost ten years after that tragic day when my brother was murdered that interest in his life and death still lives on.  About two months ago my sister-in-law and I met with three students from Northwestern University School of Journalism who wanted to do a documentary about hate crime and use Ricky as the foundation for their senior project.  The guys were very professional and mature with their presentation of ideas.  Once a meeting of the minds was established, Sherialyn gave them the okay to go forward with their project.  She informed them that I was the family historian and could provide them with whatever they needed.  I mentioned to the guys that I did have a lot of information on my brother but it was shipped to Atlanta two years ago.  These three guys flew from Chicago to Atlanta when I was there last month to capture the life of my brother.  They went to Ricky's grave and to his high school.  They met with our high school Assistant Principal Dr. Hill and one of Ricky's teacher's Mrs. Tuggle from over 35 years ago.  The assistant principal and teacher are both retired now but these guys tracked them down and interviewed them about their relationship with Ricky.  I took them to the apartment complex were we lived growing up and then we went to my house and spent the next four hours looking at new footage, scrapbooks, newspapers, memorial quilts, and videos about the life and death of Ricky.  They also made a stop by my niece's collage graduation party to interview the children.  The finished documentary will be shown at the McCormick Theater on the Northwestern campus on June 11th.  I want to thank Tommy, Alex and Ryan for their contribution to keeping the legacy of Ricky Byrdsong alive almost ten years later. 

I'm sure by the time they left my house they were totally exhausted and overwhelmed after looking through all of the collection of memories about Ricky.

Ricky and his family

Rest in peace my brother.  

 

I wrote this poem on July 3, 2003; the 4th year anniversary of Ricky's death:

 

A CONVERSATION WITH RICKY

A man whose heart was filled with hatred took your life but through God your spirit lives on 

Four years have passed since that tragic day but it’s still hard to believe that you’re gone

I stop by your resting place from time to time just to sit and talk

Perhaps I’m looking for a sense of direction from you regarding this challenging road I walk

Sometimes I come by for thirty minutes just to sit and to clean the dirt from your flower

For I know only God can provide the answers to my questions during that half hour

Oftentimes God tells me I have the answers to my questions so go forth and be strong

Without a doubt I believe him and trust that He has placed me where I belong

Daily I will look to Him to ensure that I am following his plan

It is He who orders my steps and directs my path, not man

For every day of life that I am given I will press on

God’s grace and mercy and my willingness to persevere is how the game is won

My brother, I know you had a plan and all hope is not lost

Today, we may be a little off course but ultimately we will succeed at all cost

Honoring My Nephew Ricky Byrdsong

Today I want to honor my nephew.  He will be graduating from high school this week.  Life for him has not exactly been easy.  He's had to endure a lot in his short lifetime and unless you've had to walk in his shoes you would never understand his pain.  It's a pain that he lives with daily and tries very hard to forget but it's that unforgettable kind of pain that will never go away.  He will just have to find the best way to deal with it as he travel his journey through life.  This was Ricky Jr. on the front page of the Chicago Tribune after witnessing his father, Ricky Sr. being murdered.  He was just 8 years old at the time.

I remember one day when I didn't know what else to say or do to help him I just went and stood in his shoes.  

Ricky, I just want to tell you today that your dad would have been very proud of you.  And though he can't physically be here to share in your life, he's still cheering you on everyday.  Whenever someone says anything positive to encourage you, that's a word from your dad.  He would want you to go forth and run this race call "Life" without feeling defeated.  He would want you to wake up everyday and give the world your best.  

As the pastor reminded us at your dad's funeral when he said, "Even though the coach is gone, the game is not over.  Sometimes coaches get kicked out of the game.  And to not stay in the game is to not follow his game plan."  The coach is gone but the game is not over Ricky. There is nothing we can do to change that.  But you must stay in the game and be determined to win against all odds.  I love you and look forward to your graduation.

  

Little Things Excite Me!!

My sweet niece Kelley gave me the most beautiful birthday card last week.  The card said, "What a beautiful thing . . . the gift of you. Happy Birthday".  But then she hand wrote:

Happy Birthday Aunt Cia,

This was the perfect card for you because you have truly been a gift to me and our family.  I've never said an honest and heartfelt THANK YOU for all that you've done through these ten years but now that I'm older I understand and realize now that I do appreciate you and love you more than you could ever know. 

~Kelley

Just her saying that to me was one of the best birthday presents I have ever received.  I remember Christmas 2005 she gave me the first gift that she picked out and paid for with her own money.  Usually her mom buys a group gift from the four of them.  Kelley bought me a $14.00 sweater but I did not have the heart to tell her that the sweater was too small (and ugly, ha!ha!).  So to this day I still have that sweater and I cherish it as if it was a check for $1,000.  Just the fact that she thought enough to buy me a gift with her own money meant so much to me.

I realized too I'd better cherish this sweater because that was almost four years ago and she has not bought me anything else with her own money. Ha!!Ha!!. 

My Day . . .

I spent my birthday with my good friend LaNissa.  The plan was to go out for lunch and then go to the plant nursery to get flowers for us her to plant in her yard.  I agreed to the plan though I was fully aware that I would be spending my time helping watching her plant flowers.  We drove about 30 miles to go to this particular plant store to get some Tiki grass (remember that name) and then we were going to go back to Home Depot, which is about 25 miles near her home to get the other plants.  Several of her neighbors admired the Tiki grass/plants that she planted in her yard this time last year so they wanted her to get some Tiki grass/plants for them.  So we get to the plant store (finally) and ask where was the Tiki grass.  I could tell that these people had worked in this store for a long time but no one had heard of this plant.  Each person would call over another one to ask about Tiki grass.  LaNissa even showed them where it was stored last year.  FINALLY, one of the employees said, "Are you talking about King Tut"?  

King Tut is what we were looking for all along.  How you could get Tiki out of King Tut, I will never know.  Well, as you can see from the picture above the store was out of King Tut.  All was not lost because the employee called their other store who informed him that they had about five left.  So we drove another five miles to get King Tut.  Below, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, LaNissa and King Tut.

LaNissa and Tiki grass King Tut above

After we got King Tut, all I could think about was FOOD.  So off to one of my favorite places we went.  I had just had this same meal at Red Lobster in Atlanta two days before, but it was so good that I wanted it again.  

HAPPY "51 YEAR OLD" BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Then we went to Home Depot to get more plants and to LaNissa's to plant them.  She named the plant above "Marcia".  How sweet is that!!!  That still didn't inspire me to help. Ha!ha!  But it was a beautiful day.  Thank you Puddin, Nissie, LaNissa!

Honoring Our Troops

Today we are honoring those who have served our country and those who are currently putting their lives on the line.  I took these pictures of the actual boots of the deceased troops at an exhibit in Chicago on Memorial Day 2007.  Since then, the number of Iraqi casualties have increased to over 4,300.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN!

Seven years ago today you grace the world with your presence and my life has never been the same.

Everything about this little guy warms my heart.  He was born seven years ago today and I had the pleasure of witnessing his birth and photographing the entire experience.  

 

This baseball picture was taken six days ago (May 18th) when you came to visit me while I was in Atlanta.  You were so excited to see me and greeted me with the biggest hug.  I love you Jonathan and, as I always tell you, "You are destined for greatness."  

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

MAY 23rd and 51 years ago I graced the earth with my presence and since then, this wonderful world has never been the same.

Today is my birthday and though it is a day of celebration, I have chosen this day to celebrate the one who gave me life.  I find more joy in celebrating Him and all that he has done for me than anything else.  I often reflect on the last 51 years of my life but more specifically the last ten.  The last ten years have been some of the most difficult, defining and life altering for me.  I've grown more in 10 years than all years prior and I feel that I've learned enough lessons to last a lifetime. Yet, I know as long as I continue to live I will never stop learning, believing, forgiving, hoping, helping, giving and loving because this, to me, is what it really means to live.  I’m not so sure that I had the same perspective on what “life” meant to me before I came to Chicago in 2001, and before Ricky was murdered in 1999.  I’m sure driving around in a convertible BMW sports car, having a nicely decorated house, having nice clothes to wear, keeping my hair fixed and playing tennis three days a week were all important to me.  And though God was a big part of my life back then, I probably only checked in with Him ever now and again.  I didn’t really know what it meant to have a true “relationship” where I depended on Him daily and believed whole-heartedly that He would take care of me and supply ALL of my needs.   I had to learn that along the way and the hard way.  I had to learn to stand on faith knowing that what God had purposed for my life was far more important than anything else.  And no matter how difficult the circumstances were, I never stopped believing that.   I didn’t always understand why things were the way that they had to be but it never caused me to doubt.  No one could have prepared me for the journey though.  I had to come along and alone on this rollercoaster ride all by myself.  I know I was following God’s plan when I came here but it’s just best that I did not have a crystal ball to foresee what was in store for me because I may not have taken the assignment.  Before coming to Chicago eight years ago, I’d never felt this much pain and I never had to awake daily and forgive the wrong that was being done to me.  I had never given up and given so much of myself.  I had never walked in such humility even when other people were purposely working against me.  I had never been in an environment where I felt constant negativity toward me.  I had never been so beaten down, broken down, and torn down unjustifiable.  Had I been living my life in a bubble?  Perhaps.  But I am out of the bubble now and well aware that the same road that brought me here is not the same road that is leading me back home.  I am also aware now that I did not come to Chicago for just the reasons that I thought I came.  There was so much more for me to learn and understand about people.  I know what kept me going for these ten years is the same concept and life lessons that will keep me going for the rest of my eternity.  But I did have to learn that.  I did not come here equipped with that knowledge.  Mother Teresa said it best:

The Final Analysis

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway!

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;


Be kind anyway!

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway!

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway!

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway!

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway!

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway!

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway!

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

(THE REST OF THE STORY TO BE CONTINUED . . .) 

Sabrina's College Graduation Weekend

MAY 17 & 18 HAS BEEN DECLARED

SABRINA BYRDSONG'S DAY 

IN ATLANTA GEORGIA AND CHICAGO ILLINOIS 

(by her family, ha!)

My oldest niece Sabrina graduated from Clark Atlanta University this past weekend.  This is a major milestone in her life; one that her deceased father would have been so very proud of.  She has overcome many obstacles to get to this place in her life.  I love seeing her so happy!  I love the person that she has become and too am very proud of her.  She has a very beautiful spirit as well as external beauty.   

The Baccalaureate Service was held on Sunday, May 17th and very well attended by her family and friends.   

PICTURES FROM THE BACCALAUREATE

 

 

 

 

 
THE GRADUATION CEREMONY

 

The graduation ceremony was held on Monday, May 18th at 8:00 in the morning.  The class of 2009 had 800 graduates!  I flew in from Chicago and I do believe it was colder in Atlanta than it was in Chicago.  On the day of the graduation, it felt like it was in the 40's but the sun was shining and the ceremony was beautiful  Judge Glenda Hatchett was the keynote speaker and she did an awesome job.  Her speech was short but very impacting.  Judge Hatchett's key points were:

 The Five Golden Rules:

• Be grateful
• Live on purpose and have a deep appreciation of your heritage 
• Be generous with your time and talents (do something for someone else because someone took the time to do something for you) 
• Don't let the haters steal your joy (haters are a distraction) 
• Know your worth, your spiritual worth      

 PICTURE FROM THE GRADUATION CEREMONY

 

 

 

 

 

 

SABRINA'S GRADUATION PARTY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The World's Best Mom

 

 
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

I think my mom is probably the best mom in the world.  I know she is the best mom to me.  She is one of the most giving, caring, and sweetest persons that I know.  She has the spirit of an angel.  I never hear her say anything mean about anyone.  She only speaks positive words about everyone; even me.  My mom is a worrier so I rarely bother her when I have a concern because she would spend all of her time worrying about me when I am not worried about me.  She'd call me daily and ask 1,000 questions just wanting to know that I am okay.  She would send money if she thought that would fix the problem.  She just wants to know that all is well in my world so as far as she knows, my world is perfect.  

My mom has a great husband who puts her needs first and treats her like a queen everyday.  He loves her, and adores her, and always wants to be with her.  They do everything together.  When he was in the hospital she'd fix her a lunch and go and spend the entire day with him.  When she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 13 years ago he went to all of her weekly chemo treatments for six months and waited from 9:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m.  He will go shopping with her seven days a week if she wanted him to.  She trained her husband how to take care of Fifi the dog.  He even learned to like having Fifi in the bed every night.  He also accepted the fact that he had to wait for Fifi to get up in the morning before he could make up the bed.   

My mom always does random acts of kindness:

• She sends a lady from her church money to pay for her medication
• She has given a lady from her church enough clothes that she hasn't had to buy outfits or shoes in years.  The lady has been so blessed in abundance that she too gives away some of the clothes from my mom to others in need 
• Over the years she's found children in the church to buy for.  She even donated money to help with a child's funeral 
• When her husband retired before she did, she would pay him for keeping the house clean 
• She contributes to their monthly household expenses by paying her credit card bill  
• For Mother's Day she went shopping and bought her husband six pairs of pants and two sweaters and bought her mother some outfits 
• She helps her mother and sister with their monthly financial needs 
• She will on occasion buy me an outfit, or pay for my plane ticket to fly home, or buy me a camera
• She's ALWAYS giving   

My mom is set in her ways:

• She refuses to get a computer because she can't see the need.  Yet, recently she called me because she heard that you can get plane tickets cheaper on line. 
• She will not get a digital camera or even buy film for the old 35 milometer camera that she has 
• She called me recently to ask what is a Blackberry.  When I said it's like the Iphone, she wanted to know what the Iphone was.  She keeps her cell phone charged but she may use it once a month (maybe) 
• I doubt if my mom has ever been late for anything 
• She eats at Subway almost everyday 
• She always says she's been up since 5:00 a.m. but then she falls right back to sleep in her chair.  Yet that doesn't count as being sleep 

  And though I have chosen this day to honor my mom, she deserves to be honored everyday for the wonderful person that she is.  They don't come no better than my mom.  MUCH LOVE MOM ON THIS MOTHER'S DAY 2009!!! 

Goodbye My Angel - Rest in Peace

My 92 year old grandmother recieved her angel wings tonight.  Her mansion was awaiting her at 8:43 p.m. on March 9, 2009.  Rest in peace until we see each other again. 

 FAMILY PHOTO'S 

HOMEGOING SERVICE

A February Day in Atlanta

A LUNCH DATE WITH THE FAMILY

I went to Atlanta for the weekend.  Here, I'm just hanging out with my mom and Bob. We had lunch at Ruby Tuesday.  The food was so good!

Mr. President

I could not attend the event in Washington so I did the next best thing, which was to take pictures of the TV screen.  I really felt that I had one of the best seats in the house because had I been there I would not have been close enough to capture the moment.

Governor of Illinois

Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested December 9, 2008 on corruption charges that included allegedly trying to sell the United States Senate Seat of President-elect Barack Obama.  I went to a rally in Chicago in 2005 and just remembered that I took these pictures.  I also have pictures of his wife and kids but I will not display those.  Even though the FBI has released wiretap recordings of Blagojevich trying to sell the seat, he's saying he is innocent and refusing to resign.  He held a news conference today to appoint Roland Burris to Obama's senate seat.  Right after that the Lt. Governor held a news conference to say that the appointment was not going to be enforced.  Not sure how this is going to all unfold in Chicago.  Blagojevich has a big time attorney representing him.  The same attorney that was able to get R&B singer R. Kelly off for child endangerment even though he was on video.  This is still a daily top news story in Chicago.

  

 These are pictures that I have taken at different events.  I had forgotten about them until now.  I bet Lincoln is turning over in his grave right about now. lol!!!!!!!

2008 Christmas With Family and Friends

Getting from Chicago to Atlanta for Christmas was not easy but I feel blessed that I was one of the ones to make it out.  Over 500 flights were cancelled!  I was scheduled to fly out on Tuesday at 6:50 p.m.  I left work a little early and arrived at the airport at 4:45.  Initially the board said my flight was on time.  Then the board changed departure time from 6:50 to 7:20 and soon after from 7:20 to 8:15.  Now I started to get concerned when 8:15 came and went.  But by 8:45 we started to board and at 9:15 we were de-icing the plane.  I started to relax once we pulled away from the gate.  When we hit the clouds then and only then did I have a smile on my face.  I WAS ON MY WAY HOME!!!!!!!

Being home was wonderful.  Whenever I have the opportunity to go home I tell the people at work that I am going where I know people love me.  They always respond the same way, "We love you".  I always tell them I don't recognize the way that they show it but when I am home I know what it feels like.  I know how love feels and I only get that feeling when the plane lands in Atlanta. lol!!!!!

One of the best Christmas gifts of all was seeing how great my 88 year old grandmother is doing.  I saw God and the doctor's bring her back to good health and I am so thankful.  IT IS AMAZING!!!!  My stepdad Bob had his cast taken off and he now has a boot but overall he is doing good and able to get around much better.  My mom is doing great.  She has been taking care of Bob for the last few months.  Everyone was in good spirits.  

I traditionally get together with my friend Barbara and her family while I am in Atlanta.  We had girls time downstairs and all of the men hung out upstairs.  One of Barbara's best friends and her daughter's mother-in-law realized that they knew each other and had been good friends over 30 years ago.  It was interesting to hear the stories that they had to share about their lives back then.  

It was good to get to see my Grandma Jannie again.  I brought a Christmas hat for her to wear to get her in a festive mood.  She doesn't say much but I enjoyed my time with her at the nursing home.  There is another lady there who talks all the time.  She answers the questions that I ask my grandma.  When I ask if she's cold the lady will say, "Yes, she's cold" or "Yes, she's hungry but they won't bring her any food".  She kept me laughing.  The lady curses a lot too but she didn't while I was there this time.  

I also had a chance to see my main man.  He inspires me.  Talking to him is like talking to another adult.  I let him know that this keyboard is his when his mom finds room to put it at his house.  I don't think she's in a big hurry to take it because of the noise that she will be subjected to DAILY.

A more than 25 year family tradition has been broken.  My dad's side of the family has always gotten together on Christmas Day.  My uncle Earl has always hosted the Christmas Day dinner at his house.  That was the opportunity for me to see all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins on the Byrdsong/Birdsong side of the family.  My grandmother and granddad had eleven children and of the eleven, my dad is the only deceased one.  So if you can imagine, that was a lot of people stopping by to visit and have dinner.  Well, Christmas dinner was cancelled so I did not get to see many of that side of the family this year.  This is the collage from 2007 and the last of the photos at my uncle Earl's house.  My aunt Ina will host the Christmas dinner next year. 

I am already back in Chicago.  The return trip home uneventful.  The plane was on time and I arrived safe.  May you all have a prosperous 2009.

2009 Will Be My Year

I am really looking forward to starting the new year.  I just believe that 2009 has great possibilities in store for me.  I honestly feel that.  I have already started planning for this to be one of my best years ever.  I am releasing all of the pains and challenges of 2008 and embracing what lies ahead.  I am open to whatever life has to offer.  

One thing I know I want to do is go back to Guatemala again in April 2009.  When I was there before, that trip for me was such a spiritual awakening that I want to feel that way again.  The beauty that surrounded me daily was breathtaking.  And though I could not speak the language of the natives, I was so connected to God during that time that I only felt peace.  The picture below is taken at the 15 room hotel where I stayed.  My hotel room overlooked three volcanoes and could only be accessed by boat.  However, I will stay with a family when I go back in April.  

A Very Powerful Quote

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” – Alan Cohen

It feels good when you are at this place in your life.  It feels good sometimes to just let go of the past and explore the unknown.  Who knows where that opportunity may lead you.

When Love Knew No Boundaries . . .

From time to time I reminisce about times in life when I felt on top of the world.  There was a time when everything about life seemed to be like waking up daily and going to Disney World.   One such time in my life was when I dated “him”.  And as painful as love is sometimes when it has to end, it is still so worth the journey.  I don’t know of any other time in your life when you grow more as a person.  I don’t know of any other time when your world could get turned upside down and right side up but you still find a way to enjoy it.  You endure because you know that tomorrow could indeed be better than the day before.  And in most cases it is.  

I sometimes think about that time and that experience that happened so many years ago but not with any regrets.  It was what it was at that time and I am so much different now and a much better person partly because of him.  It is because of him that I am able to better express myself on an emotional level.  He always wrote me letters expressing his true feelings good and bad.  But I didn't have the same level of appreciation for it then.  Now I realize how unique of a man he was to share his heart and soul with me.

Below is an excerpt from my writings.  I have excluded names.   Today, he is very happily married with beautiful children and grandchildren. 

OUR LOVE STORY

I know you moved from Detroit to Atlanta but as I read the many letters that you wrote to me and reflect on this time in my life, it was as if God sent you from above to love and take care of me.  

You came into my life one month after I called off my wedding and a four year relationship with the other “him”.  Before meeting you I did not know the meaning of love.  I thought I did but you taught me.  You were my: 

1 Corinthians 13:4, which says, 

“Love is patient, love is kind.  

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, 

it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres”.   

You loved me and always wanted to be with me even when I was unlovable.  You, unselfishly and without hesitation, gave your heart and everything that you had to offer when you knew I was not always capable of doing the same for you.  You loved every stitch of my being.  It has been more than 20 years since you were an intimate part of my life but I now realize that you were possibly a once in a lifetime.  Though our beginning was not strong enough to overcome our ending, just having the opportunity to have met you and loved you was one of the most memorable, meaningful and rewarding experiences of my life.  

Hat, Purse and Shoes to Match Her Outfits

I love this hat.  It's the only hat I wear during the winter months.  It keeps my ears warm when the temperature dips into the single digits.  I have been wearing the same hat for the seven years that I have been living in Chicago.  

Unlike my mom who wears a different hat all the time.  You rarely see her wearing the same hat, shoes, purse or outfit.  As for me, I basically wear black pants and the "same" black shoes almost everyday.  Not much effort is put into my daily attire when I go to work.  I do dress up occasionally when I go to Atlanta to visit my family and hang out with my friends.

There is a big difference when you look at my mom's three closets and when you look at my one.  You can almost imagine what her closets look like with shoes, purse and hats to match each outfit.  This is what my one closet looks like.  Not much creativity.  Most of the shoes in those shoe boxes rarely get worn.  I go through the boxes ever few months to see if I need to give some away.  It takes me about 30 seconds each day to decide which black pants to put on.  And as far as carrying a purse, I'm either carrying the same backpack full of books to read on the train or my camera backpack.   

 

A Real Leader . . .

“A real leader, through actions and words, has the ability to motivate others to their highest level of achievement; then gives them the opportunity and freedom to grow.” Anon

I love this quote!  I didn't write it but it is such a thought that has been on my mind for so long.  It is so true and powerful but very few people in leadership positions get it right.  Very few people are able to see another persons value and allow that part of them to shine through.  It is my prayer that in spite of how others may try to devalue you that you never lose sight of your own true value. 

Down Off Her Throne For A Minute

A few months ago my step dad Bob broke his Achilles Heel.  It was just a freak accident.  He tried to get out the chair to leave for church and twisted it.  Since that time he has not been allowed to put any pressure on that leg until December 16th, when he gets the cast off.  Well, something miraculous happened since he has been out of commission.  My mom, who has lived a life of leisure has finally had to come down off of her throne and take care of him.  They have been married for over 25 years and for as long as they have been married Bob has:

• Done all the cooking - though now they eat at Subway DAILY
• Cleaned the house daily - I have never been to their house and the beds were not made and all the dishes washed. 
• Washed all the clothes 
• Folded all of the clothes 
• Done all of the grocery shopping 
• Made sure her car always has gas   
• Done all the driving when they are together 
• Let her spend her paycheck AND HIS on whatever she wanted to buy 
• Helped to take care of my grandmother and make sure all her needs are met 
• Shopped daily with my mom though he might not buy anything for himself for months  
• Thanked my mom when she just happened to do him a favor and make the bed    
• Took care off our dog Fi Fi when she was alive.  He even allowed her to sleep in the bed with them
• Given her all of the closets in the house and also allows her to occasionally hang things in his ONE closet 
• Allowed her to sleep in HIS room with him so that she doesn't have to take all the decorative pillow off her bed in HER room  

To sum it all up, Bob has done EVERYTHING and been happy doing it.  They never argue and he loves her probably more today than he did over 25 years ago.  He calls her honey all the time so there's no anger in his spirit for having to do everything.  They are both in their 70's, retired and just enjoying their lives. 

Now, when I call my mom she is so tired because she is having to do EVERYTHING.  She can't wait until December 16th when Bob is back and she can go back and sit on her throne.  She didn't realize how much Bob had been doing all these years.  I told her VISA was going to call and see if she was still alive since she has not been shopping.   When I told her that Bob's Achilles Heel broke because of the weight of carrying her for so long, that did not faze her at all.  She is just counting down the days until Bob can perform his "WIFELY" duties again. 

      

Update - She Is Doing Great!!!

Mary Jo had the surgery and is doing remarkably well.  The doctor's were able to repair the hole in her lung.  She will probably be in the hospital through the weekend.